Taking the Sting Out of Social Rejection

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Humans. We’re a social beast. We’ve gotten this far because we’ve banded together to create language, technology, and entire civilizations.

Whether we like to admit it or not, we need each other. Loneliness is a contributing factor for all sorts of physical and mental problems from depression and Alzheimer’s to diabetes and heart disease. We need each other, friends. That’s why rejection stings so badly.

But not all rejections are created equally. Your husband rolling his eyes at you isn’t the same as you ending up old and alone in a cabin somewhere. Evolution hasn’t really caught on when it comes to these ordinary, harmless rejections. Your body is ringing alarm bells, whether someone yawns in your face while you’re telling a story or your town excommunicates you, forcing you to live on a deserted island.

But what if we could practice coping with social rejection? What if we could take some of the sting out of inevitable, harmless rejections like interruptions, side eyes, and put-downs?

The Takeaways

If you want to be more collaborative and supportive, practice “yes, and” statements and avoid “yes, but” responses that devalue others.

Improv may be a great training ground for dealing with social rejections in a similar way that it seems to help people with social anxiety. Find an improv class in your area and give it a shot. It may seem counterintuitive to try improv if you find social rejection devastating, but studies have shown that improv has a bigger impact on less confident people. Improv could be just the thing to give you that confidence boost and take some of the sting out of life’s minor rejections.